I'm Lazy.

As I sit here dreading packing for the overnight trip I am going on tomorrow (to a women's retreat about an hour from here--how hard will it be to pack, really?!), it occurs to me how incredibly LAZY I am!
I hate packing, I hate any type of housework (hence my e-mail address," housworkhater"), I hate sitting down and paying the bills, I hate driving (especially being the Mom-Taxi I am these days), I hate grocery shopping, and I hate going anywhere once I'm home from work. Oh yeah, and I hate exercising. And shaving my legs. And doing yard work...well, okay, I've never tried that, but I'm pretty sure I'd hate it.
I don't think I'm a hateful person. I don't think I am even remotely ungrateful for all of my blessings. I have received and totally agree with the e-mail that goes around every now and then about how if you have to park far from the store, be thankful you have legs; if you have dirty dishes to wash, be thankful that you just ate a meal; etc. etc. That's so true!
I'm just lazy.
My idea of a perfect day: lying around in my pajamas and reading a book, napping when necessary. I have tried it and am quite good at it. I daresay I have done that more successfully than just about anything else I've attempted in life. (Hey, we all have our strengths!)
One thing I've been way too lazy about is going back to school. I went to college right out of high school, and I was neither motivated nor ready to do the kind of work it required.
Backing up a little, I was lazy in high school, too. Everyone thought I was a party animal, when in fact, I was very content to stay home and do nothing...I just didn't have friends that would let me, since I was one of the only ones with a car! I liked nothing more than lying on the beach every weekend, sleeping in the sun. I did no work in school, and it is a miracle I graduated with a 3.2 GPA. Nothing to boast about, but considering my laziness, it was a feat.
Around March of my Senior year, my mom asked me, "So what are you going to do? Are you planning to go to college?" I am not even kidding when I say that I had given it NO thought before then. I realized that's what my friends were doing, so I guessed I'd do it, too. (If everyone jumped off a bridge, I probably would, indeed, have jumped!) I quickly sent in applications for three schools in Michigan, where I was technically a resident, even though I'd been overseas for the previous 11 years, and I enrolled in the first one that accepted me (they all did, eventually, thank you very much!)
Well, you'll never believe this, but I was LAZY in college! I would find any and every excuse not to go to class or do the work, and I had a GPA that proved it. Funny memory: one day my roommate Jenny and I didn't want to go take our Biology exam, because we were watching--of all things--"Ferris Bueller's Day Off." We called the prof and told her we had car trouble, thinking we would study the rest of the day. Yeah. Guess who bombed the exam.
Anyways, I dropped out after three semesters. I'm surprised it took me that long to figure out how much money I was wasting. (I paid my loan off in 10 years...my husband gave me a hard time about it, since I had nothing to show for it, but hey, it was only $30 a month--for a decade!)
Okay, so since I dropped out seventeen years ago, I have half-heartedly tried to go back. I earned 7 credits at Bay de Noc Community College in Escanaba, Michigan. (I'm not making up the name; it's a real place.) I lived at NAF Atsugi in Japan for five years. Perfect time to go to college--Navy College office right down the hall from my office, classes held within walking distance from my house!
But I'm lazy. I took four classes...in five years.
So, a couple of weeks ago, a lady from the local Christian College came to the church where I work and dropped off some literature about their adult continuing education degree program. If I go to school on Tuesday nights for 4 hours for the next two years, I can earn a Bachelor of Science in Management and Ethics degree. (Assuming I can come up with $4,000 per semester plus books--I work at a church and my husband works for Alltel, so we aren't exactly rolling in the dough.)
So now Miss Lazy Bones needs to order transcripts, fill out financial aide forms, and pore over the web looking for any money I can drum up. (Is there a scholarship for having majored in the homemaking arts with a 1.89 GPA--what I estimate my cooking and cleaning are worth?)
I have always felt like a failure for being 36 and not having a degree yet. I preach to my kids about working hard so they can get scholarships, and I advise them to finish college when they're young. I think going back would be a good example to them, to show them that education is important. I REALLY want to do this!
I just hope I'm not too...you know.